December 18, 2010
Confirm Again
| A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here’s what you do,” said the Doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.” That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.” Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?” No response. So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again he gets no response. So he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” “Darling, for the FIFTH time I’ve said, CHICKEN!” The problem may not be with the other person as we always think, could be very much within us! |
October 18, 2010
Very Funny Definations
School : A place where Papa pays and Son plays
Life Insurance : A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich
Nurse : A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills
Marriage : It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
Father : A banker provided by nature
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest….except that he got caught
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills
Classic : Books, which people praise, but do not read
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death
Appraisal Vs Resignation
A newly joined trainee engineer asks his boss “what is the meaning of appraisal?”
Boss: “Do you know the meaning of resignation?”
Trainee: “Yes I do”
Boss: “So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation”
Comparison study: Appraisal and Resignation
| Appraisal | Resignation |
| In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures. | In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success. |
| In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike. | In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike. |
| During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn’t meet the expectation, you don’t have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal. | During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder and lead your juniors to success. |
| There is 90% chance for not getting any significant incentives after appraisal. | There is 90% chance of getting immediate hike after you put the resignation. |
Trainee: “Yes boss enough, now I understood my future. For an appraisal I will have to resign … !!!”
October 3, 2010
Letter To God
A little boy wanted Rs.50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.
Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the Rs.50.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God , INDIA , they decided to forward
it to the President of the India as a joke.
The President was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.20.
The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money (Rs.50) to a little boy,
and he did not want to spoil the kid.
The little boy was delighted with Rs…20, and decided to write a thank you note to God,
which read:
“Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money..
However, I noticed that you sent it through the Rashtrapati Bhavan(President House) in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs.30 as tax ……. “
September 28, 2010
Excellent Cartoon On Commonwealth Games – 2
September 27, 2010
Joke : Logical Mind : Software Professionals
A woman asks her husband, a programmer, to go shopping.
Dear, please go to the grocery store to buy a loaf of bread and if they have eggs buy 6.
‘OK honey’ said the husband went to the grocery.
Twenty minutes later the husband returns with 6 loaves of bread.
His wife is surprised.
Dear, why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?
They had eggs!
Itsourteamwork : More 'WE' Less 'I' 