February 1, 2011
Boss And Employee
Boss And Employee
When Employee takes a long time,then Employee is slow.
When boss takes a long time,He is thorough.
When Employee don’t do it,then Employee is lazy.
When boss doesn’t do it,He is too busy.
When Employee do something without being told,Employee trying to be smart.
When boss does the same thing,That’s initiative.
When Employee please boss,Employee is apple-polishing.
When boss pleases his boss,He’s cooperating.
When Employee do well,boss never remembers.
When Employee do wrong,He never forgets
Thank God my boss is NOT like this…
Just wanted to continue from here…
This post may sound funny. But, why this is happening like this? Because, in corporate management,
Boss is always right.
But, those who are working in IT are very lucky. They can change the job, unless they are in a bond with the company. Still, they can change the job after the completion of the bond..
Think about those who are in govt jobs where they can’t change their job. If the boss is not good, then life is gone.
January 6, 2011
LISTEN TO PROFESSIONAL
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December 18, 2010
Confirm Again
| A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here’s what you do,” said the Doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.” That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.” Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?” No response. So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again he gets no response. So he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” “Darling, for the FIFTH time I’ve said, CHICKEN!” The problem may not be with the other person as we always think, could be very much within us! |
December 10, 2010
What is the difference between Saali and Wife
*What is the difference between Saali & Wife*
Saali is Beauty, Wife is Duty
Saali is Pension, Wife is Tension
Saali is Yummy, Wife is Vehmi
Saali is Pataka, Wife is Dhamaka
Saali is Cool, Wife is Fool
Saali is Tooti – Fruity, Wife is Kismat Futi
Saali is Fresh cake, Wife is earth QUAKE
October 18, 2010
Very Funny Definations
School : A place where Papa pays and Son plays
Life Insurance : A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich
Nurse : A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills
Marriage : It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
Father : A banker provided by nature
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest….except that he got caught
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills
Classic : Books, which people praise, but do not read
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death
October 17, 2010
Confidence
Umbrella cant stop the rain,
But makes us stand in the rain..
Confidence may not bring success,
But gives power to face any challenge in life..
October 4, 2010
Newly Married Husband Saved Wife’s Number
Newly Married Husband Saved Wife’s Number
On Mobile As:
“MY LIFE/DARLING/SWEET HEART/HONEY”
…After 1 Yr:
“My WIFE”
5 Yrs:
“HOME”
10 Yrs:
“HITLER”
25 Yrs:
“WRONG NUMBER”
September 27, 2010
Joke : Logical Mind : Software Professionals
A woman asks her husband, a programmer, to go shopping.
Dear, please go to the grocery store to buy a loaf of bread and if they have eggs buy 6.
‘OK honey’ said the husband went to the grocery.
Twenty minutes later the husband returns with 6 loaves of bread.
His wife is surprised.
Dear, why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?
They had eggs!
June 3, 2010
Doctor Jokes 2
Doctor:What seems to be your trouble?
Patient: When I get up I feel dizzy for one hour.
Doctor: Try getting up one hour later.
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Doctor (to the patient): Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?
Patient: Yes, sir. But I did not drink it.
Doctor: Why?
Patient : (Pointing to the bottle) : Because it is written on the label:
Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.
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Dentist (to the patient): For God’s sake, stop making those noises and
waving your arms. I haven’t even touched your tooth yet.
Patient : Yes, I know. But u’re standing on my foot.
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Doctors son: Well, dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines of success.
Doctor father: Always, write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly.
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Doctor: Yes, what is it I can do for you?
Patient : Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this articular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?
Doctor: The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is.
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Doctor: Mr. Kishan, you look exhausted.
Kishan: I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it.
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Doctor: Liquor is a slow poison for you.
Patient: It’s all-right. I’m not in a hurry.
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Patient: May I have a glass of water, doctor.
Doctor: Are you thirsty?
Patient: No… I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks.
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Mohan : (to the doctor) : Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?
Doctor : Your eyesight seems to be poor.
Mohan : How did you come to that conclusion?
Doctor: You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital.
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The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”.
“Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
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A patient: Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal.
Doctor: Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit.
(After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines).
Doctor: Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up.
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Patient: Doctor, I can’t sleep.
Doctor: Lie at of edge of your bed and you will sleep off.
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Patient: I have spent 80% of my life’s savings on doctors.
Doctor : Why didn’t you come to me earlier?
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Patient: Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?
Doctor: Use a pencil till I come to see your son.
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Patient: Doctor, I feel there are two of me.
Doctor : Very well, I shall see you, one at a time.
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Romi : (to the doctor): Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift.
Doctor: Tell her to come in.
Romi: I cannot
Doctor: Why so?
Romi: Because she does not stop at this floor.
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A fat lady: (To a health expert). Give me some advice that can reduce my fatness.
Health expert: Okay. You must move your head to the right and the left at a particular time.
Fat lady: At which particular time?
Health expert: Whenever anybody asks you to eat.
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Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): What is wrong with you?
Patient: I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine.
Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): Here, Take this.
Patient: Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right.
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Doctor (to a patient) : you must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal.
Patient: Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home.
Itsourteamwork : More 'WE' Less 'I' 